Food Sniping and the Chips of Desire

My good friend, Bryant Thompson, native of New Hampshire and huge Celtics and Red Sox fan, desired that I address the contentious matter of ‘food sniping.’ Bryant used the term ‘food sniping’ to mean taking food from other people or people’s table after they have completed and exited the meal. I will henceforth not be enclosing this term in apostrophes or quotations.

After the disappointing 2010 loss of Utah men’s’ basketball to BYU men’s basketball, another esteemed friend, Chris Mabey, and I searched for a good meal. We took ourselves by automobile to La Frontera (the one on the west side). We each ordered the large platter. As a side note, Bryant commended me for performing well by devouring every morsel served to me and condoned Mabey's performance.

Now to the juice of the situation, or chips in this case. There was a simple, spicy salsa served with the restaurant style corn chips. However, at an early point of dining we had chomped through the basket of chips. Across from the aisle from us a man had just left leaving an untouched basket of chips. Bryant truly desired more salty corn chips to go with the grande platter in front of him. He debated with himself about performing the act of reaching across and grabbing it. I urged him to do so for his benefit and mine.

There are three factors that may have kept him from food sniping. First, the restaurant staff was near and bustling about which created a difficult situation for retaining an inconspicuous demeanor at our booth. This also caused self-consciousness due to the questionable behavior of food sniping. Second, the credibility of the character of the man who had been delivered the chips was in question. What may have been done to the chips without our observance? Why had they remained untouched through that man’s meal? Third, the least important, would be the physical exertion to reach and take the chips. After beginning to ingest a large quantity of food the ability for motion is decreased. This affects the motivation that the mind can conjure to overcome inhibition from the physical senses and restraints.

The problem was resolved when a member of the service staff questioned our enjoyment of the food. I requested more chips on the behalf of myself, but mostly Bryant. Of course, they came at an extra charge, but that was a small cost for a necessary side to the beans, salsa and chile verde. After the chips were brought to us a discussion ensued about the practice of food sniping.

I have always been content with eating things off the floor after they had only been there for a reasonably short period. The first instance that I remember was in the first grade of school at Oakwood Elementary. A piece of red licorice was dropped on the floor of the lunchroom underneath the table. I picked it up and ate it. I may have done this for the shock factor, which was raised in a female classmate. I do not feel that I need to be justified in this behavior by any logic, but I will state that if a germ is on the floor it may likely be on my hand or in my mouth as well. Just build or test the body’s immune system.

Bryant shared a more related memory. He and some friends were dining but had only ordered when an older couple approached their table. They said that they were finished eating but had food left over that they did not want to eat or take with them to consume later. They offered the food to Bryant and his companions. The intended recipients accepted the couple’s remainder and happily ate the spoils.

The positive argument for food sniping is the mother’s words “there are starving kids in [country other than the United States (though increasingly the phrase fits America)].” Those of us who food snipe are just reducing the amount food that is wasted. Yes, we accept the consequences of the bulging waste-line and constricting blood passage through arteries. You’re Welcome.